Saturday, June 4, 2016
Conflict and Communication
I am currently working for my dad's real estate appraising company because of the flexibility it provides and the necessity to pay for school and so there are not a lot of ways for conflict to arise there because I don't typically work with anyone besides my dad. One personal conflict that I have recently been having with my husband is in regard to his driving I have always thought that he was a really good driver, but lately every time he drives I find something that he is doing wrong. He has become very irritable with my comments and has begun taking everything much more critically than I intend. I still prefer for him to drive us places, but he has started to resist driving. I have recently been much more aware of the things that I say to him when he does drive. It is easy for me to say whatever is on my mind without really thinking about the feelings of whoever I am speaking to. Being slower to speak is something that I have been working on with the people I am close to because it is not my intention to make anyone feel badly about themselves. I have also realized that it helps if I express my appreciation to him when he does drive so that he can feel that I am grateful for his driving and concern because most of the time his driving irritates me is when he is being cautious or braking quickly for safety reasons. Understanding that his intentions are always good helps me to speak kindly and avoid contention with him. I definitely feel that striving to live the principles of nonviolent communication can help my husband and I avoid any contention and conflict that has arisen and will allow me to avoid having any annoyances towards my husband when it comes to his driving.
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Linzie,
ReplyDeleteYou bring up an interesting point. Should communication in our professional life look different than communication with those who we are intimate with? When I reflect on some of the things I have said to my husband, I would definitely not get any communication awards. I thi9nk my husband deserves the same respect that I extended to my professional relationships. This is an area I really need to work on.
Hello Linzie,
ReplyDeleteI'm glad that you are aware of the way you communicate with your husband, and finding ways to avoid confrontation. We sometimes can be over emotional when we are travelling with our spouse. I prefer that he drives to unfamiliar locations, and I support him by watching exits so it will make the trip less complicated. Overall, I consider how something will make me feel if I say something harsh in my professional/personal life.
I used to be a "control freak" and allowed the little details or things out of my control to really bother me. I heard the phrase "does it really matter" and I started applying that to my critiques. Once I really had that flow of thinking built into habit, my stress level drastically decreased. This may be helpful with your husband.
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