Thank You!

It is so nice to be at a point in this journey where I am starting to form relationships with many of my colleagues.  It will be interesting to see who I will see in my particular specialization now that we are already at that stage!  I would not be able to have had the same learning experience without the discussions that we have been able to have throughout this course.  I have enjoyed getting to know each of you better, as well as getting to know some of you for the first time.  Each of you have given me better insight to the subjects we have been learning that I would not have been able to gain by myself.

I hope that each of you have positive experiences in your future classes and that you are able to achieve all that you want to when you graduate.  It is such an accomplishment to have gotten this far and I know that we can all reach the end! Thank you to everyone and I hope to learn with some of you again.  If you would like to stay in touch you can reach out to me via Walden email or find me on Facebook.

Adjourning Teams

Out of all the groups I have been in, the adjourning stage has always been the hardest if the group was high-performing.  I was always relieved when I was able to say good-bye to group members that were frustrating and made whatever task we were working on harder than it should have been.  There was one job I had in college that allowed me to have personal goals, as well as work on team goals each day.  We had team leaders who were constantly encouraging us to do better and there were incentives for when we did well.  We did a lot of activities to get to know everyone and the leaders were all organized and truly cared about what they were doing.  I really enjoyed working with everyone and when the time came for me to quit the job I was very sad.  I left because my school schedule conflicted with their hours, but found another job that was similar, but there was no sense of teamwork and the leaders at this job clearly did not care about how well we did as a team, nor how well each of us did personally.  It affected my own job performance because  I didn't feel connected with anyone and didn't feel like it mattered how well I did.  I was not upset when I was able to leave this job and I no longer talked to anyone from this office, unlike at my old office when I still talked to a lot of the people I worked with.

I am not sure how adjourning this program will be for me because I have not had the opportunity to meet anyone in person and each class has had different people.  I have enjoyed getting to know a few people better that I have had multiple classes with, but I do not feel I will be terribly upset when I am finished and no longer know what is happening with my classmates.  I have had a positive experience with everyone I have had classes with and hope that everyone is able to pursue the goals they have after graduating.

Conflict and Communication

I am currently working for my dad's real estate appraising company because of the flexibility it provides and the necessity to pay for school and so there are not a lot of ways for conflict to arise there because I don't typically work with anyone besides my dad.  One personal conflict that I have recently been having with my husband is in regard to his driving  I have always thought that he was a really good driver, but lately every time he drives I find something that he is doing wrong.  He has become very irritable with my comments and has begun taking everything much more critically than I intend.  I still prefer for him to drive us places, but he has started to resist driving.  I have recently been much more aware of the things that I say to him when he does drive.  It is easy for me to say whatever is on my mind without really thinking about the feelings of whoever I am speaking to. Being slower to speak is something that I have been working on with the people I am close to because it is not my intention to make anyone feel badly about themselves.  I have also realized that it helps if I express my appreciation to him when he does drive so that he can feel that I am grateful for his driving and concern because most of the time his driving irritates me is when he is being cautious or braking quickly for safety reasons.  Understanding that his intentions are always good helps me to speak kindly and avoid contention with him.  I definitely feel that striving to live the principles of nonviolent communication can help my husband and I avoid any contention and conflict that has arisen and will allow me to avoid having any annoyances towards my husband when it comes to his driving.

Communication Surveys

For the assignment this week, I had my husband and my older sister take the surveys for me.  It was really interesting to see their results because my husband's were almost exactly the same as mine, but my sisters were pretty different.  For the anxiety score, my sister's score was a lot lower than how I scored myself and how my husband scored me.  It made me feel confident that most people are unaware of my social anxiety and also made me realize that my husband knows how I actually feel in social settings.  This week I was able to focus on not allowing my past experiences influence the way I first see people.  Although I don't feel it is a problem to make connections to people you know to people you just meet, I still want to focus on seeing the new person as who they really are and not perceiving them in a different way.  I have been talking to my husband about some of the things we have been learning in this class and he has started to point out my communication skills, whether they be positive of negative.  One thing that I have realized that has a big influence in my communication is facial expressions.  My facial expressions sometimes seem to be more exaggerated than I mean them to be.  I feel that both of these things can help me with my communication in professional settings because it will allow me to focus on who I am talking to and be aware of expressing myself in the way I intend to.

Effective Communication Strategies

I have realized that depending on who I am talking to, I will communicate differently.  I am definitely more comfortable communicating with people who come from similar cultural backgrounds as I do and find that I become more guarded in the things I say to people who are from different cultures. I have some family that are different races, religions, and social classes and I typically feel like I have to communicate differently than I normally would when I am around them.  A few strategies that I have thought of that can help me communicate more effectively with people who are different than me are:

1. Think before you speak.  It is easy to just speak without really thinking about what you are saying or whom you are talking to, but it is important to consider the person and to make sure that what you are saying is appropriate.

2. Consider what they say.  When speaking to anyone, it is crucial to work to understand and reflect on what that person is saying.  Effective communication comes from effectively listening to the other person and actually hearing what they say.

3. Put yourself in their shoes.  Similarly to the Platinum Rule, I feel that it is important to work to understand who you are communicating with and then speak and treat them the way that they would like to be treated.

Communication with Television

For this assignment, again consider what you have been learning about communication skills and styles. Then record an episode of a television show you do not normally watch. Watch the show with the sound turned off.

I chose to watch a Disney show because it is something that most children would watch.  Throughout the show, it was clear that the main characters are twin girls who live very different lives.  One of the sisters is very popular and also appears to be a famous singer, while the other sister is more on the nerdy side and is not as outgoing as her.  I felt like I was able to understand the majority of what was occurring throughout the episode even though I couldn't hear what was taking place. 

Now, watch the show with the sound turned on.

The show was not difficult to understand and I was surprised with how well I understood what was happening.  I was shocked that it was so easy to understand the plot of the show just through watching the show.  Facial expressions and hand gestures were very helpful in deciphering what was happening throughout the show, though it was still easier to have the details of what was happening.  I realized it was more difficult to understand what was happening with the other characters that weren't the two main girls without being able to listen, but I felt I was able to grasp the majority of what was happening. It was definitely more appealing watching the show with the sound on than it was without it.  

Communication Example

My parents are a great match because they are able to balance each other very well.  My mom is excellent at communicating with people and making friends, but she is very expressive and doesn't always handle situations that can be confrontational as well as my dad can.  My dad is calm and is one of the greatest communicators I know when it comes to dealing with people in problem situations.  Earlier today a problem arose with work and I was near him while he was on the phone with the other party he was dealing with. Although he was very upset about the situation that had occurred, he was still able to be professional on the phone and clearly state his problem without becoming angry or upset.  My dad is great at listening and trying to understand others when they talk to him and is great at making people understand him.  I would definitely want to model my dad's communication behaviors and hope to be as calm and professional as he is.